So many of you have asked about our daughter that I realize that it is time to update you.
Just reading over my musings of a year ago, I realize how I still get so relentlessly caught up in the mundane and overwhelmed by things that are so transient. (This week, in addition to life’s everyday blunders and the usual financial frustrations, we have been dealing with BOTH fleas and lice in the Dean household. When will “normal” arrive, please, Lord?!)
I have been feeling sorry for myself, wishing someone would step up to this plate that I have been given and run the race for me for a little while. My husband and I have spent the week going to bed sore and exhausted, hoping for relief the next day but finding a new set of challenges with each morning: the dog gets out of the yard AGAIN, a computer crashes and people treat us like we are carrying the plague. I think that it is the stress of it all that made us turn our backs on the fact that that nasty cold was creeping into the house as well. Par for the course.
Yesterday, in the midst of it all, we were brought back to the basics. (We will conquer the fleas and the lice. I’ve never dealt with fleas before but have with lice, it’s a lot of work but we know how to overcome it. The colds will move on, eventually the bills will be paid and our friends won’t be afraid to see us.) On the other hand, there we were on the floor of the little girls’ bedroom dealing with a tantrum, not the everyday grumpiness that you occasionally encounter but a full out kicking and screaming 3 year old. And then she went pale, her eyes rolled back and the screaming eased. My baby nearly fainted. Now to most this would be happy justice for a kid that had cried it out. For us fainting can be life threatening.
Suddenly lice, fleas, colds, and harsh words from friends didn’t seem so important. Surviving the moment was all that we had.
Now, as soon as the spell overcame her, she started to recover. She certainly had lost the wind in her sails but she came back to us. The normal procedure for days like this with a girl with a heart condition like ours has been to see the doctor immediately (get to the ER!)which has resulted in one weekend stay at the hospital so far. The thing is that our most recent visits to our local paediatric cardiologist and to Sick Kids confirmed that our prayers are working, her heart is holding out and is more stable than they had originally anticipated. Praise the Lord! That being the case, we are now told that the pacemaker won’t be inserted into her heart until they see some quantifiable difference in the testing that they do or until this “starts to affect her quality of life”, meaning until dizziness leads to actual fainting. We do hope to see our doctor this week but for now are closely monitoring her and seeking your prayers.
All of this has brought back some much needed perspective: God is in control.
“I am the LORD, and there is no other;
apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you,
though you have not acknowledged me,
so that from the rising of the sun
to the place of its setting
men may know that there is none besides me.
I am the LORD, and there is no other.
I form the light and create darkness,
I bring prosperity and create disaster;
I, the LORD, do all these things.” – Isaiah 45:5-7
He allows us to go through the things that he does because He trusts that we will come out on the other side closer to Him and more able to be all that He wants us to be.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:2-4
Friends, my family and I have so appreciated your kind words, your prayers and your inquiries about our daughter that show that you care. They have made such a difference to us. Please do continue to keep her in your thoughts and prayers as we journey along this crazy road. It has made a difference as she had gone a full year now without need for pacemaker surgery and we hope that she will be able to go longer and grow more in order to better be ready for the hardware that is best suited to her needs.